I'm lying on the bed trying to take a nap. It is noon, there is no one around and there's an absolute silence. When I realize this, I feel strange noises around me, I can even feel the footsteps of strange ppl walking around, sometimes talking to me. Is this any kind of imagination? Is this a devil's workshop? “Confused” as usual... God! Yes it is my own damn imagination...!! I have had these weird thoughts right from my childhood, particularly whenever I was home alone. I think I have this V-Phobia (Vetti phobia) which is actually known as Eremophobia – fear of loneliness.
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When it started?
V-Zone - Vetti Zone
This is something very new to me - being idle!! (Romba over!! officelayum vetti dhan.... hehehehehe). Though I was not doing something very gr8 at work, I never get bored. I had my own world; I was meeting new ppl everyday, disbursing too many loans, listening to peers gossip around, so on and so forth. It was cool, but I wasn’t all that satisfied doing it. I cannot work at citifinancial all my life! Oh! Enough!! I’m just not gonna start my citi story again, after all, "Citi never sleeps!"....... and "doesn’t let others sleep" hahaha...
Being in the V-Zone or making good use of V-Zone... (Adhan vetti zone adhuku dhan ipidi oru peyr koduthuten) was the next big task lying ahead of me. I have loads of options for whiling away time as discussed in "pros" on my previous blog, but I felt I have to give importance to my career as well and also the things as discussed can make me occupied rather giving any value addition to my future
Working round the clock vis-à-vis idle round the clock - It was thinking about this huge transition ever since I decided to get married and never managed to come to a conclusion for this question "How to kill idleness?"
It was one boring evening around 6 o' clock, I was hungry, so, I made myself a cup of hot n sour soup and some Act II pop corns. I was idle for almost the entire day and from the morning since my husband left to office, I was thinking about all the household tasks that I had lined up on my mind, the list was too long... I felt I might overlook few, so I made a to-do-list.
To-do-List for tomorrow
1. Broom and mop the floor.
2. Clean the toilets
3. Clean the balcony (it was totally dumped with the things that didn’t find a place to relax inside the house)
4. Wash all the clothes (there was a huge pile of clothes and the laundry bag was overflowing, it had nearly 50 clothes. The worst part was the washing machine wasn’t properly installed and I dint want to postpone things anymore, so I planned to wash it all myself)
5. Plan for dinner
6. Prepare a "shopping list" and do some shopping
7. Check on mom and dad, grand parents, mother and father-in-law
8. Clean the kitchen shelves... which was like Pandora’s Box
9. Prepare a to-do-list for day after tomorrow... hehehe
I was in a huge rush when I was preparing this list. I wanted to finish off everything at once, but I knew, 6 o'clock in the evening was meant for relaxing and not for rushing things up.
It took two hectic days to complete this task and the huge mess to my eyes was somewhat cleared, but not spic and span yet.
My in-laws arrived at home by May 15, and thereafter, I was fully engaged with some kind of work. Then I went out of town for sometime, it was full of fun.
The mystery started when I and Prasanna returned home. Usually, he leaves to office at 10 o'clock in the morning and returns home by 9 pm...
It was a Tuesday, Prasanna went off to work, I dint have any household tasks that day, so, I decided to work on the stitch kit that I had got the other day. I was working on it since morning, so, by noon my eyes became weak. I thought of taking a short nap and hit the bet around 4:30. I had strange thoughts, but I was too tired to think about anything weird.
I was in a deep sleep, I had too many dreams, I had strange characters dancing on my dream stage… I was like totally lost on my dream world… Then, suddenly, with a quick jolt I got up, confused, my heart was beating faster than usual. I looked out for Prasanna, who waked me up few minutes ago; I heard him saying, "Savitha... late aaiduchu" or something similar to that. It was very bright, and then I thought probably it’s too late in the morning and he might have got up in a hurry... I came out of the room and started searching for him, he wasn’t there, and the time was 5:30. How come it's so bright when the time is only 5:30 in the morning? I was very confused and was still searching for him.... I stepped into the balcony and looked at the sky... it was a clear blue sky with sun shinning on to my face... then I realized… "Oh man... it's 5:30 in the evening" and a million question follows... How come there was a quick jerk on the bed (exactly a sec before I got up)? How come I felt Prasanna sleeping beside me and also talking sth to me (exactly a sec before I got up)? Was there anything happened while I was asleep? Wat happened exactly a sec before I got up?
Or probably it was all jus a dream?
_______________________________________________
It is as if I had reflections of all the haunting stories I have read/heard... everything around me is weird now... Is this the plight of ppl who live alone? Romba tension pannudhey.... I know this is happening to me because my whole world is suddenly shrunk to a triple bed-room apartment... I think I need some exposure... Exposure to new environment.... how about books? Hmm…that is a good idea... let me try one (after a looonnng-time) that way I can get my own self back
Appettu....
____________________________________________
When it started?
V-Zone - Vetti Zone
This is something very new to me - being idle!! (Romba over!! officelayum vetti dhan.... hehehehehe). Though I was not doing something very gr8 at work, I never get bored. I had my own world; I was meeting new ppl everyday, disbursing too many loans, listening to peers gossip around, so on and so forth. It was cool, but I wasn’t all that satisfied doing it. I cannot work at citifinancial all my life! Oh! Enough!! I’m just not gonna start my citi story again, after all, "Citi never sleeps!"....... and "doesn’t let others sleep" hahaha...
Being in the V-Zone or making good use of V-Zone... (Adhan vetti zone adhuku dhan ipidi oru peyr koduthuten) was the next big task lying ahead of me. I have loads of options for whiling away time as discussed in "pros" on my previous blog, but I felt I have to give importance to my career as well and also the things as discussed can make me occupied rather giving any value addition to my future
Working round the clock vis-à-vis idle round the clock - It was thinking about this huge transition ever since I decided to get married and never managed to come to a conclusion for this question "How to kill idleness?"
It was one boring evening around 6 o' clock, I was hungry, so, I made myself a cup of hot n sour soup and some Act II pop corns. I was idle for almost the entire day and from the morning since my husband left to office, I was thinking about all the household tasks that I had lined up on my mind, the list was too long... I felt I might overlook few, so I made a to-do-list.
To-do-List for tomorrow
1. Broom and mop the floor.
2. Clean the toilets
3. Clean the balcony (it was totally dumped with the things that didn’t find a place to relax inside the house)
4. Wash all the clothes (there was a huge pile of clothes and the laundry bag was overflowing, it had nearly 50 clothes. The worst part was the washing machine wasn’t properly installed and I dint want to postpone things anymore, so I planned to wash it all myself)
5. Plan for dinner
6. Prepare a "shopping list" and do some shopping
7. Check on mom and dad, grand parents, mother and father-in-law
8. Clean the kitchen shelves... which was like Pandora’s Box
9. Prepare a to-do-list for day after tomorrow... hehehe
I was in a huge rush when I was preparing this list. I wanted to finish off everything at once, but I knew, 6 o'clock in the evening was meant for relaxing and not for rushing things up.
It took two hectic days to complete this task and the huge mess to my eyes was somewhat cleared, but not spic and span yet.
My in-laws arrived at home by May 15, and thereafter, I was fully engaged with some kind of work. Then I went out of town for sometime, it was full of fun.
The mystery started when I and Prasanna returned home. Usually, he leaves to office at 10 o'clock in the morning and returns home by 9 pm...
It was a Tuesday, Prasanna went off to work, I dint have any household tasks that day, so, I decided to work on the stitch kit that I had got the other day. I was working on it since morning, so, by noon my eyes became weak. I thought of taking a short nap and hit the bet around 4:30. I had strange thoughts, but I was too tired to think about anything weird.
I was in a deep sleep, I had too many dreams, I had strange characters dancing on my dream stage… I was like totally lost on my dream world… Then, suddenly, with a quick jolt I got up, confused, my heart was beating faster than usual. I looked out for Prasanna, who waked me up few minutes ago; I heard him saying, "Savitha... late aaiduchu" or something similar to that. It was very bright, and then I thought probably it’s too late in the morning and he might have got up in a hurry... I came out of the room and started searching for him, he wasn’t there, and the time was 5:30. How come it's so bright when the time is only 5:30 in the morning? I was very confused and was still searching for him.... I stepped into the balcony and looked at the sky... it was a clear blue sky with sun shinning on to my face... then I realized… "Oh man... it's 5:30 in the evening" and a million question follows... How come there was a quick jerk on the bed (exactly a sec before I got up)? How come I felt Prasanna sleeping beside me and also talking sth to me (exactly a sec before I got up)? Was there anything happened while I was asleep? Wat happened exactly a sec before I got up?
Or probably it was all jus a dream?
_______________________________________________
It is as if I had reflections of all the haunting stories I have read/heard... everything around me is weird now... Is this the plight of ppl who live alone? Romba tension pannudhey.... I know this is happening to me because my whole world is suddenly shrunk to a triple bed-room apartment... I think I need some exposure... Exposure to new environment.... how about books? Hmm…that is a good idea... let me try one (after a looonnng-time) that way I can get my own self back
Appettu....
Happens, you loose sense of space and surrounding when you are exhausted..
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